Comments on: Feedback–Being Gentle With Yourself http://carolwoodliff.com/2007/09/feedback-being-gentle-with-yourself/ From Scared to Sacred--Living Life From the Heart Wed, 18 Aug 2010 23:52:33 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Carol Woodliff http://carolwoodliff.com/2007/09/feedback-being-gentle-with-yourself/comment-page-1/#comment-17 Carol Woodliff Wed, 12 Sep 2007 16:58:02 +0000 http://carolwoodliff.com/2007/09/07/feedback-being-gentle-with-yourself/#comment-17 Ricardo- Thanks for commenting. I learned when I was managing employees at the law firm that giving correction or feedback is an artform. And often no matter how hard you try to make it helpful or constructive many of us are wired to first be defensive or hurt by the comments, even when they come from the best of intentions. I love The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) by Don Miguel Ruiz. One of the agreements is to not take anythng personally. That is a challenge for most of us but I find it helps when we realize that badly delivered feedback is more a function of the discomfort of the person giving the feedback than anything we did or deserve. Have a great day! Carol Ricardo-

Thanks for commenting. I learned when I was managing employees at the law firm that giving correction or feedback is an artform. And often no matter how hard you try to make it helpful or constructive many of us are wired to first be defensive or hurt by the comments, even when they come from the best of intentions. I love The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) by Don Miguel Ruiz. One of the agreements is to not take anythng personally. That is a challenge for most of us but I find it helps when we realize that badly delivered feedback is more a function of the discomfort of the person giving the feedback than anything we did or deserve.

Have a great day!

Carol

]]> By: Ricardo Bueno http://carolwoodliff.com/2007/09/feedback-being-gentle-with-yourself/comment-page-1/#comment-16 Ricardo Bueno Tue, 11 Sep 2007 23:38:44 +0000 http://carolwoodliff.com/2007/09/07/feedback-being-gentle-with-yourself/#comment-16 The opening to Dale Carnegie's book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People," has a very powerful message. And evidenced properly through a series of examples, the message is to never criticize people as you will only create resentment. Granted there is such a thing as constructive criticism which is essential to developing one's self. But for there also exists that resentful criticism. And it's this kind of criticism that one needs to shy away from. And for those subjected to it, you've provided some excellent advice. And that is to say, "I need time to process what you are telling me before I can respond." Best, Ricardo Bueno The opening to Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” has a very powerful message. And evidenced properly through a series of examples, the message is to never criticize people as you will only create resentment.

Granted there is such a thing as constructive criticism which is essential to developing one’s self. But for there also exists that resentful criticism. And it’s this kind of criticism that one needs to shy away from.

And for those subjected to it, you’ve provided some excellent advice. And that is to say, “I need time to process what you are telling me before I can respond.”

Best,
Ricardo Bueno

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