The difference between the vision and reality

There’s a tricky place between our vision of the future and the reality of where we are right now.  I get worrried when I hear people talking about the movie, "The Secret."  I do believe in the Law of Attraction, that we need to be able to see things and the more we believe in our vision and see it as though it has already happened, the more synchronicities occur and things just seem to happen.  There is also a place where we have to have a realistic vision of where we are now and what we can do today to advance ourselves toward our goals.  I’ve seen many people get caught up in the visioning process and forget about the steps it may take to get there. 

For example, I had a client who I will call Mary.  Mary was working on her own business.  Her business wasn’t making any money.  In fact, she was close to being evicted from her apartment because she didn’t have the money to pay the rent.  She came to me because she wanted help visualizing her business successful.   I told her we could do that but first she needed to handle the "wolf at the door"  and figure out how she was going to get the money to pay her rent.  She had skills in waitressing and secretarial skills. I counseled her to get a temporary job to pay the rent and then we could work on growing her business.  (It really didn’t seem likely that she would be able to raise the rent with her business sales in two to three weeks.)  Initially she resisted. "I believe in metaphysics," she said,  "I believe our thoughts create our reality."  "I do too, I said, "but the thoughts you have been having so far have you close to being homeless–so let’s deal with that problem first."  She left my office and I didn’t hear from her for several months.  I left messages and emails but she didn’t return my calls.  I thought to myself, "She didn’t like what I told her, so she is avoiding me."

Several months later, I got a note from her saying that she was doing well.  That she had gotten a 20 hour a week job that gave her some income that took the pressure off of growing the business so fast and now her business was growing and she was less stressed because she had reliable income every week.  She thanked me for being upfront and tough with her.

I had one of these incidents personally the other weekend.  I went to a speaker’s conference and I was moved to sign up for further training with a highly regarded speech coach.  The only problem is:  It is a HUGE financial commitment–A $5000 down, $25,000 out of future speaking fees commitment.  I know I’m ready to step up to the next level of speaking engagements.  I know this man can help me get there.  But to be honest, I didn’t have the $5000 to put down.  But part of me said, "act as if, and the money will come"  and I signed up.  I had a very stressful next week– as I thought to myself, "I can act as if all I want, but the reality is today I don’t have $5000 to pay for this training."  After several days of fretting, I contacted the trainer and said, "I want to be honest, I don’t have the $5,000 right now.  I know you can help me get to the place where I am earning more out of my speaking fees. I want to work with you.  Can we work something out?"  I got a clear message that I am supposed to work with this man, "Sure we can work out a payment plan. "   

I could have taken all my savings and maxed out my credit card to take the training.  This would have added significant stress to my life.  The vision helped me think about where I want to go.  The reality was I needed to find a creative way to get there.   

"Acting as if" has gotten a lot people in deep financial trouble.  The other day I was in Bevery Hills and looking at everyone driving $50,000 cars and I wondered–how many people can really afford these cars and how many cringe each time they write their lease payment check?    I was talking to a mortgage broker at a networking event and mentioned my Beverly Hills thought.  He said, "you’d be surprised at how broke people who make $500,000 a year can be. I see their financial statements and there are many people who are so maxed out.  They look successful but they are under a lot of financial stress."

So my friends, you know in your heart what you can afford and what is causing you stress.  Hold to your vision of where you want to be, but remember the reality of today. Don’t let "acting as if you already have that vision" get you caught in stress that you can’t really handle.  Be brave enough to say, "this is where I’m heading but I’m not there yet."   Live in your reality and know that you can change it step my step vision by vision.  It takes both vision and action.  Know that you are worth more than your stuff!  It is more self honoring to be truthful with yourself and hold both your vision and your reality in balance as  you move forward.

Carol