My family taught me to be strong and self-reliant. Most times this is one of my strengths. But there are times it can be a problem–times when I forget that I can’t do everything well by myself; times it doesn’t even occur to me to ask for help. I can find myself tired, resentful and burdened. I had to get rid of my pride and tell my ego to take a hike, to admit that yes, there are many times I can’t “do it all” myself. I’m learning. Do you relate?
In all of our relationships, both business and personal, it is good to remember that no one is successful and happy in isolation. We are part of communities for a reason. The human animal needs other human animals to survive and thrive. People can’t always guess when you need help. Sometimes you have to ask.
We have to reach out and share what is going on in our lives to find out that we are not alone. At this time in the world with all our technology, sometimes only personal contact and sharing can make us feel better. For example, a year ago, I shared with some friends about how I was concern that business was shifting and I wasn’t quite certain how to address this shift. My friends shared that they were having similar issues in their businesses. We didn’t solve the issue that day but we agreed to brainstorm and share with each other and I felt better having their support.
If you are like me, your “to do” list can be a mile long and a bit overwhelming. Look at the tasks you are doing and access whether it would be smarter to delegate some of those tasks. (I know you might think you can do it better, but is it really the best use of your time?) Look at the things you are doing that perhaps you don’t have all the information and expertise that you need. Is there someone who you know, who might know someone to help you do that task more efficiently? I’m always amazed when I talk to some of my tech savvy computer friends, the ones who stay on top of the trends, they almost always share a resource with me that helps me get things done with less frustration.
Even when we good at asking for help for tasks, we may not be good at asking for help to make a secret dream or desire come true. We have to carefully choose who to share those precious dreams with. Author, Sonia Choquette calls the people who help us hold our dreams, our “believing eyes.” They are the people who say, “I know you can figure it out and succeed!” or “I know you can finish your degree. I’ll watch your kids so you can take that class.”
When I was struggling with rewrites of my book, dear friends in my writing group told me, “Carol. I don’t normally buy spiritual books but I want to buy your book for all my friends. It is that good.” It lifted me up and kept me going. I bless them for helping me keep the faith.
So what if you feel like you don’t have someone to be “believing eyes” for you? Choquette says one of the best ways to start having more believing eyes in your life is to start being believing eyes for others. When we practice simply supporting other people by believing in their dream for them, we are telling the universe we believe that we all have the ability to create our dreams. Another way is to ask someone to be your believing eyes, tell them what you need them to believe for you. “I’d like to ask you to hold the vision for me of passing my licensing exam and whenever I express doubt, believe for me.”
Look at your life right now, is there somewhere you need to ask for help? Someone who needs your believing eyes? Start small. Start big. Each one of us can use a hand at times and when we practice asking and believing, we may be surprised at the magic we can create.