Monday one of my Facebook friends posted this:
“I wish one of my relationship expert friends would write a specific article on “How To Leave While You’re In Love”. This has been one of the hardest things to do because, right or wrong, I still love him so much. I just had to take a stand for real partnership that I’m committed to having in my life – so choosing to leave may hurt my heart but is a gift to my soul. (someone please write that article, though, k???)”
I won’t claim to be a relationship expert so I didn’t write a response on Monday or Tuesday. But today when I was out walking the dog, I knew I had to write something. Almost fifteen years ago, I did the same thing. I was in love with a wonderful man but we wanted different things. I couldn’t accept less than my vision for the relationship and he couldn’t give me more. I broke up with him. He was stunned and said to me, “I don’t get it. We never fought.” My response was, “What was there to fight about? We want different things.” I walked away but still held him my heart. I still do; not in that “I love you and want to get back together” way. But in the way that I can honor the relationship and the man, even though our souls’ journeys were meant to converge for a short period of time and then go our separate ways. I don’t know that I ever would be living the life I have now (which I love) if we had stayed together. The path would have been different and I would have had to compromise some key things I wanted in my life to stay in that relationship. It was painful to leave and it was the right thing to do.
My calling is helping people listen to their soul’s voice. My friend didn’t need me. She not only listened but honored that voice. See her comment, “Choosing to leave may hurt my heart but is a gift to my soul.” She is an amazing woman– a smart, beautiful, talented, warm soul. She’s already done the hard part. She left while she was still in love. She knows her soul and what it longs for.
Living from the soul’s voice is a journey of courage. It is a journey of claiming who you are and letting go of those people or things that aren’t aligned with that journey; even though they may be lovely people or things. It is a wise loving soul that leaves while in love before the relationship dissolves into hatred and blame. Following your soul’s voice doesn’t mean a life without pain. The healing and honoring of the hurt heart may take some time. What’s the answer for my friend? The only one I know is gentleness and compassion for the human self who doesn’t always like the challenges of living from the soul.
Bless you my friend for your courage and your authenticity in sharing this. Listen to your soul; it will lead you. And be kind to the human part that says, “This sucks!” because you are right, to the human heart, it does!