As humans we often create stories about what events mean and then we begin colluding with our stories again and again to make sure we prove ourselves right. Clients often want to tell me all the reasons why they are stuck and can’t have what they say they want in life. And they often get a little ruffled when I say, “I don’t want to hear the story of what happened to you in the past, because it really isn’t what is blocking you from moving forward. What is relevant is what you believe today. My job is to not buy into the story you are telling me, and help you tell a better story for yourself.”
Let’s get to the truly empowering questions sooner rather than later: “What do you want to do now?” Who do you want to be today and in the future?” That is how you set your course of life and that is how you must tell your stories. You don’t want to collude or agree with stories that say I am broken, I can’t change, that some trauma from your past has made it impossible for you to live a happy, productive and fulfilling life.
I help my clients release that energy that says those experiences define them. The energy is often held so tightly that while they’d like to let the story go, and know that they should, they can’t without help. I love the brave souls who are willing to do the work. Together we can honor those experiences or defining moments that brought us here, but do not collude with our stories that say what happened then determines what we can do today or in the future. Within each moment is the opportunity to reset our course and choose which story we want to guide our lives.
What stories have you been agreeing with or colluding with about your life?