“Your Dad is here and he wants me to tell you he doesn’t like your business cards!” the medium told me.
Out of all the things my dad could travel through the veil to tell, the fact that he did not like my business cards was not what I was expecting to hear. However, this woman had already shared some information about my ailing mother from my grandmother that seemed on point so I decided to go with it. “What doesn’t he like?” I asked, thinking of my clever cards for my hypnosis practice that had a red-haired cartoon woman with a pendulum on them. “He says you are much more creative and spiritual than those cards. He is showing me the color pink”.
I knew the woman had to be getting her wires crossed. I could NEVER see myself with pink cards. Then she shared something with me that only my dad, mom, sister and I knew, so I had to give her credit it seemed like she was communicating with Dad. I told myself that I would look at revising my cards but they would definitely not be PINK.
As I was driving home that night, I kept shaking my head and asking, “Seriously, Dad? You came across time and space to tell me you didn’t like my business cards!”
I got in bed that night and noticed the light on carbon monoxide detector was flashing in an irregular pattern. It was almost as if someone was sending Morse code messages through the light flashes. “Dad? Is that you?” The light flickered faster and faster. “Dad, you were in the Navy. I wasn’t. I don’t know Morse Code!” The light continued to tap out a pattern. I started responding to what I imagined him saying “I love you too Dad–so much. Miss you.” “I know Mom needs me to visit more often.” “I know you will be there Dad when it is Mom’s time!” “I love you!” The light kept going. “Dad I’m not getting it. Okay I will change the business cards!” A few more blinks and the lights stopped.
My next business cards were green with leaves (no surprise to people who know of my love for trees), but they didn’t feel right. One day I was looking for clip art for a project and I saw this beautiful abstract heart. By now, my hypnosis practice had moved from habit control into heart healing journeys and had become a more mystical practice. I made cards using that heart and showed them to a friend who knew the story of my dad wanting me to change my business cards. She looked at the card and she said, “PINK CARDS!” They weren’t baby pink but a rich magenta. I realized part of my Dad’s message had been about moving into my heart and mystic connection to serve others.
I had forgotten or ignored the other part of the message—”You are much more creative than those cards show.”
I have always been a writer—poetry, lyrics, stories. I spent the 1990s in Los Angeles pursuing an acting career and did a stint as a playwright in workshops at the Los Angeles Theatre Center. All of those creative impulses had been shelved because they weren’t making me money. I had burned out on playing the game of trying to make it in Hollywood. I lost my artist in trying to monetize her. I turned my writing to what I considered practical writing that would help people, never really letting that audacious creative out.
It took a 15-year journey through shamanic initiations and trainings and writing two spiritual/self-help books to realize that my soul was not going to be happy with my artist on the shelf.
This spring I dipped my toe back into exploring my creative self again with a woman’s workshop to unleash my creative voice. The night after I signed up (before I had ever taken a class), I dreamed of my Dad. I was five again and dancing on his shoes like when we danced to Lawrence Welk. He picked me up and hummed the tune in my ear in his slightly off key way. Something woke me. No. No. I want to go back to the dream. But I couldn’t go back to sleep. But I took it as a message that he was supporting my little girl artist.
Our loved ones are reaching out to tell us they are okay, that they love us, that they want to support us.
Sometimes we may not immediately get the meaning of the message. (Or maybe I’m just extraordinarily dense.) But I believe the whole point is to remember they are still there rooting for us. Maybe they need us to do what they couldn’t do in life and do some ancestral healing work. Maybe they are just enjoying watching us have bodies and live lives. I know I cherish those moments when the veil is thin.
Happy Father’s Day Dad! Thank you for looking over me from wherever you are. You’ve been gone from this earth plane for almost 32 years but those bonds of love are never broken and I really enjoyed dancing on your shoes again. You can come back to my dreams any time!
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