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When I was in Peru, I was told that the alpaca know how big of a load they can carry and if you overload them, they will refuse to walk. We could learn from them. I imagine the alpaca saying, “Come on, I’m overburdened.  You know I can only do 50 pounds, no way I’m going to carry a 60 pound pack! I’ll just sit down till you fix it!”  (I don’t know whether this is actually true but I loved the idea of it.)

In From Sacred to Sacred, I share a spirit lesson that I received—one that I’m still trying to integrate in my life.

“You think that there are so many more important things to do. You find life isn’t working, so you do more. Your energy—your spirit scatters to the wind because you keep doing—filling your calendar with activities and feeling no peace.… You are terrorized by the voices in your head which tell you “you aren’t good enough—do more,” because no matter what you do it doesn’t seem to work. It is like you are flogging a beast of burden that is doing all it can do and you keep beating it and beating it until it falls down exhausted and refuses to move. You desire peace and yet you do everything but sit still.”

We intuitively know when we have overburdened ourselves but we often don’t give ourselves that time to listen to our bodies and spirits. We need time to check in each day to listen. As my Guiding Voice said, we do everything but get still.   When we slow down and take time to be still, we can better judge whether the activities we are so busy with are aligned with love and service.  We can’t be of service to anyone over an extended period of time if we aren’t taking care of ourselves. The alpaca knows that.

Sometimes life requires us to push beyond our physical comfort zones to grow or to work through a crisis time. But often we live as though we are on a treadmill and we keep turning up the speed.  Not because of life crisis but because we aren’t listening to our inner knowledge of what is good for us and we think if we do more we’ll prove how good we are.   That sort of constant motion and unending to-do lists can make us perpetually tired, physically ill and soul sick.

Perhaps we need to take a trick from the Alpaca.  When we feel overburdened, we need to stop and notice what’s in the pack that we’ve placed on our backs. Maybe it is more than we can carry. Or maybe we simply need some time to rest, graze and refuel before we can continue.

What is your life telling you about the pack you are carrying? Do you need to put your pack down for a while and repack it? Or do you need someone to help you share the load?  You’ll never really know till you get still enough to check in, will you?

What do you think?  Could you learn from the alpaca?  (He’s awfully cute, isn’t he?)

PS.  If you are a woman who could use some time out for stillness and taking care of your health, consider joining Annette Magee and I in Bodego Bay, CA  June 13-16 for an all inclusive retreat where we will relax, have massages, energy healings and focus on how we can live healthier and more powerful lives without draining our energy.   Visit the Alivie Website for more information.   It is going to be a powerful nurturing weekend.

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“Life is sacred. Life is art. Life is sacred art. The art of sacred living means being a holy actor, acting from the soul rather than the ego. The soul is out of space and time and hence always available, an ever-present potential of our being. It is up to each of us to celebrate and actualize our being, and to turn each meal, conversation, outfit, letter, and so on, into art. Every mundane activity is an opportunity for full, authentic self-exploration. The soul is our artistic self, our capacity for transforming every dimension of our lives into art and theater.” Gabrielle Roth in Maps to Ecstasy.

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Is there an area of your life where it would be helpful for you to shift from focusing on measuring up to exploring and diving into the adventure of being you?  

It is easy to get caught in a measuring up mindset but that mindset often brings fear that keeps us from fully embracing who we are.

I caught myself with one of those measuring up thoughts the other day.  I am doing a new radio show on the Creating Calm Network on BlogTalk Radio called Soulful Sunday mornings.  I am one of three hosts each Sunday morning who share inspiration.  Even though I have a radio background and tons of things to talk about from my book and my experiences, my first thought was, “What if the other two hosts do it better than me?”  This wasn’t about them—this was about me and a basic instinct to be “the best” at what I do, even though that worry about being “the best” often stops me before I begin.  If I can’t be the best, “Why bother?” that ego voice will say trying to keep me safe.  I sat in that fear for a while before I realized that if I made that my focus, I could never fully share who I am and my message.   That voice of fear wanted to stop me because it had an outer world focus rather than a soul focus.  The outer world focus is that focus on winning and being the best in comparison with others.  The soul focus is about exploring the best you in your life and allowing that to come forth.  I laughed when I realized what I had been doing.  How tricky those voices of fear can be.

When we try to measure up, we are looking at all the gifts other people have and there is always some way to find ourselves lacking.  We aren’t successful enough, thin enough, curvy enough or talented enough because there is always some unattainable standard that tells us “You aren’t good enough.”

When we explore who we are, we connect with loving ourselves and allowing our gifts to be expressed in the world.  There may be areas where we have not allowed our light to shine and those are opportunities to step in and explore.

It takes courage to put yourself out there in any area of your life where you are learning to embrace your gifts and it can be helpful to look to others for inspiration. The trick is how we look at others. If we see others success as evidence that it is possible to live our gifts rather than a demonstration that we weren’t given the gifts, looking at others can be empowering.  But too often we forget to return to our own exploration of life and get stuck with that measuring tape in our hands.

Is there an area where you need to put down the measuring tape and go explore who you are?  What’s your experience with measuring up versus exploring?

PS.  My show on Blogtalk radio airs on Sunday Mornings at 7am PST and is available to listen to anytime on demand after the show airs. Here are links to the first two shows:

March 31:  It’s okay to be human

April 7: What if this moment is perfect?

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Several of my friends have new babies or new grand babies.  I’m in love with these new humans–many of whom feel like very old wise souls.  I was contemplating the journey we take from innocent beautiful soul to where we are as adults, where many of us feel broken and “not good enough.”   This thought came through my mind,

 ”Babies remind us of the beauty within all of us.   Perhaps life has fooled you into thinking you’ve lost your innocence, but pure love and light is still within.  Your job is to let go of the thoughts and heal the wounds that trick you into believing that you are less loveable than you were as a small infant.”

My mission in life to help people come home to themselves, to find the innocence and love within so that they can be fully present as the soul they came here to be. It is said that a shaman doesn’t heal people but sees who they really are and allows that to come forward.

What can you do today to remember that you began and still are one of these pure beautiful souls?

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Today I was caught up in all the things I have to get done. I asked in my meditation what I should do first. I didn’t get the answer back that I expected. This was the message, “It is in connecting to the beauty and the beat of the pulse of your life, that you live it wisely. Not in your doing. If you “do” disconnected from the love, it is simply another action. If you do connected to love, it is a service that ripples out to all who experience it. Whatever you must do, begin by connecting with love.”

Our western world puts the emphasis on being busy and doing.  We have all sorts of people telling us how we manage time better.  One of the habits of Steven Covey’s, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People was “Putting First Things First”.   And like a little cosmic wake-up call this morning, I realized that beginning with the “to do list”  is the wrong place to start.   Asking “What should I do?” before I connect with “How I want to be”, puts me into a mode where it is all about getting things done–not necessarily how I want to be while I’m doing those things.    The question “What would love have me do with this moment?”,  creates a shift that makes whatever I do lighter and more joyful.

I rejoice in having another day where I get to be here on this playground called earth and the multiple choices of how I can be of service to myself and the world.  I take a few moments to connect with love and then choose to act with that vibration.   I know whatever I do, if it is infused with that energy of love for myself and others, it will add to the beauty of life.

So now after connecting with that love energy,  I’m relaxing into my new mantra, “One thing at a time, with Love.”

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One of the most poignant memories of my early adult life was when my father had his stroke.  I was 26 years old and living in Kansas City at that time.  I hopped on a plane rushing to get back home to Illinois to be with him, my mom and sister at the hospital–praying all the way that nothing more would happen. When I arrived Dad was in the hospital bed with his hand and leg not functioning on one side.  Tears welled up in my Dad’s eyes as I walked in the room–he realized in that moment that if my Mom and sister had called me home, his condition must indeed be serious. He looked at my Mom and said with slurred speech, “I never got to take you to Hawaii.”

My parents were practical working people who made a little money go a long way and yet in this moment there was a statement of a dream never realized and the possible end of life staring him in the face.  Frightened as we were for his prognosis at that time, we assured my Dad that he would get better and would still have the opportunity to take Mom to Hawaii.  Unfortunately, that was not to be.  Dad recovered from that stroke enough to be back home and able to get around but he had a heart attack or another stroke that claimed his life 6 months later. He was 72 years old.  I know my mom and dad had a good life together and I am grateful for having parents that modeled what it was to be each other’s best friend and partners in life. When I imagine talking to my Dad now, I hear him urging me to live fully and joyfully right now and not to put off all the opportunities I have to be present in this gift we call life.

This memory came back to me recently as I was having a heart-to-heart talk with two other friends who also have their own businesses.  We had sat down to mastermind the next steps in our businesses and I could create a to-do list a mile long of actions I could take to advance the business but as I spoke, something felt off.   I have spent the last few years so caught up in following the Voice that guided the book and trying to bring that vision to the real world that I had lost touch with some of the other things that make a full life.  As I spoke to my friends, tears welled up as I said, “I don’t want to create THIS at the expense of my life.”  I looked at my “to do” list and realized while passionate about my healing work, teaching and writing, there were many elements of my idea of a beautiful life that were missing–like a soulful life partner.   Not going to find one of those if I stay at my computer coming up with more and more projects or am so focused on work that I don’t even let my flirty self out to play!

We all live with the illusion that we have unlimited time do accomplish all our goals, but that isn’t true.  Each decision we make means we may be ruling out other options that are important to us.  It’s never too soon to look at your life with the perspective that we might not be here tomorrow and ask some probing questions about what is important to us. The Voice that guided me to write the book, never asked me to become a slave to work.  I created that all on my own.  The beautiful thing about having one of these “aha” moments is we get a chance to ask ourselves life review questions such as:

• If I were in a hospital bed right now, would there be any important “I never got to __________”  regret?
• What have I put off doing that I think is essential to a well-lived life?
• Is there a place that I am putting my energy right now that doesn’t feel important in the well-lived life vision?
• What’s most important to me and how much time am I devoting to that?
• What am I waiting for?

If we can look at our lives, knowing that we will die, everything that is important is put into perspective.  I know my work is important.  It is a deep part of who am and my calling in being here.  But just as important as my work is being present in my personal life.   Internally this is a big shift for me. It actually is easier for me to be a hard business task master than to think about what would nourish my feminine side. But that feminine side has been taking a back seat far too long.  So out she comes!  I’m letting that side of me have more say in how I spend my time and energy.  She doesn’t really like the “all work most of the time” Carol.

A friend asked me if I was free to go to a concert on Tuesday night.  Initially I said no because I had planned to be at a business networking event–but I realized that was the old “do-er” business person wanting to run the show.  So I said yes to the concert because as many of you know, going to live music events is one of the ways I love to play.  The fragile feminine part of me breathed a sigh of relief that I wasn’t going to break my new commitment to her so soon.  After all, we have to make room for the things we really want in life.

What about you?   If you were in that hospital bed right now—would you have a “I wished I had _______” moment?  If you ask yourself some of those life review questions how do you feel?  If you would have no regrets or nothing undone, bless you for being a role model for the rest of us!  If you are like me and realize you have things to shift, there is no time like the present.

I’d love it if you would share your impressions and experiences in the comments below.

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“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom” Marcel Proust.

I love when I stumble across a quote that sums up the way I am feeling.  This is one of those quotes.  So many friends and family members went out of their way to share about the giveaway of From Scared to Sacred on Amazon over the last two days. New readers went out of their way to send me a note saying how much the book affected them.   I felt my soul opening up and saying, “Yes!”  This is how we are supposed to be.   We are supposed to collaborate to help and lift each other up.  I’m so grateful for the people who did that for me this week.

Now I know that no one really MAKES you happy.  Happiness is a choice that each of us make on our own.  But I do know we can create circumstances where cultivating happiness is easier.  I’m so blessed to have people in my life that do this for each other.  Thank you all you charming gardeners!   I love you!

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Step forward and introduce yourself to the thing that calls to you but at the same time terrifies you. For the obstacles you perceive are not blocks to your path, but your spirit calling you to the spiritual, mental and physical work of having the experience of creating here on earth.  They are not there to torture and stop you. They whisper to your heart, “Take courage and see how amazingly connected you are to the divine power of love, light and creation.  Say yes and I’ll meet you in those moments of doubt. Say yes and miracles can happen!” (Journal. 1/19/13)

If you avoid discomfort like the plague, chances are good that you are also someone who also finds yourself stuck quite often and in relationships that feel inauthentic.  Everything new or worthwhile involves taking a step out of your comfort zone.  And every good relationship comes from being vulnerable enough to share the parts of you that might be rejected or hurt.   It is so easy to play small.

There are no guarantees in life that when we try something new that it will be the answer to our problem or when we share from the heart it will be received with love.  One thing is certain though, if we don’t try something new, our problems will never get solved and if we don’t share ourselves authentically we can never be known.  If we don’t say yes to the whispers of our heart, whose life are we living anyway?

Have you taken a step this year that feels uncomfortable?  You know the one I’m talking about—the one that will lead you to that goal of better health, finances, relationships or the experience that you’ve been dreaming about having but it is a bigger leap than you are comfortable taking?   What are you waiting for?  Say Yes!

Are you waiting for yourself to magically have the courage to do something?  Courage rarely shows up when we are waiting for it.  It shows up when we commit and step forward ready to make change.  Are you waiting for change to feel good? If you aren’t naturally a daredevil who loves the adrenaline of taking those risks, you will probably be waiting a long time.  So what can we do?  We can make friends with the idea that we are going to have to go into the uncomfortable place when we want things to change.

When I assessed my goals for 2013, I decided this was the year to expand my courage.  There are a number of things that I was disappointed to see on my goals list again this year.  Even though I had accomplished some big goals last year in publishing my book, there were other goals that I honestly had to say that I could have achieved but shied away from.  I’m not beating myself up for that.  I just noticed that if I really wanted those things to happen I was going to have to do something differently this year.

This is year is my year of saying, “Yes!”  I hired a business coach to help me step out in a bigger way with my practice and my book.  A group of my friends who are business owners have recommitted to meet regularly to brainstorm and support each other as we envision and take action toward those goals.  And one of those commitments is to call each other lovingly on the ways we see each other staying in our comfort zone and encouraging each other to move forward with brave hearts.  It isn’t all about business either.  I’m saying yes to other things that are personal goals, like consistent exercise and creating more time for relationships, socialization and fun!

As we take these new actions there is no guarantee that any one step that we try will be the step that changes things but we know if we stay where we are right now, nothing will change.  Have you ever hear the saying, “When we step out and say “yes’ to life, life says ‘yes’ back”?   It may not always feel that way, because we forget that the experience of stepping out of our comfort zone is the experience of life itself.  Each day we get to choose whether we expand our experience of life or stay in the place we might perceive as safe.   Our hearts whisper to us everyday to live bigger and love more, the question is are we willing to say Yes?

So what support do you need to say, “Yes” and to take the next steps in 2013?  Do you need an accountability partner?  A coach?  A Mastermind group?  Do you need to put patterns and stories of the past behind you?  Do you need to find a safe place to unravel the blocks before you can move?   An honest assessment of where you need help is the first place to start.

For the readers of this blog, I am offering a free half hour phone assessment of how I might assist you in taking the next important step past the blocks, out of your comfort zone and into saying “Yes” to your life.  I work with clients in person in the Pasadena and Santa Clarita areas of Los Angeles, via phone and Skype and travel frequently to work with groups and individuals (contact me for details). Email me at Carol@CarolWoodliff.com to schedule your phone consultation.  This offer is good for current clients and new clients.

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I am inspired by the trees to ask, “Are you owning your beauty and gifts without comparing yourself to others?” Know your beauty and be assured that the beauty of another does not diminish you. Together, owning our gifts, we create a beautiful world.

Where do you need to allow yourself to express your uniqueness? Where do you compare yourself to others? These two trees reminded me that there is no need to compare. We can stand together in our awesomeness and together we create beauty.

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Think back to your good holiday memories from the past.

For the most part, I can’t remember what gifts I received. What I do remember is the time spent with friends and family, the games, the laughter, the hugs and yes  the occasional  fights that now in retrospect seem rather silly. The things I received don’t mean that much. They were symbols of the love of my family and friends, not the love itself. The love was expressed in our time together. My holiday memories are family dinners, Scrabble games and football games on the television with my mom and dad cheering loudly for their teams.

There is one gift I do remember and it is an embarrassing memory of me at my bratty teenage best.  Mom and I had picked out a reversible quilted fabric for a robe for me. I envisioned it made with one side showing and mom made it with the other. I cringe as my 50-year old self remembers her younger self throwing a fit, saying, “Brown–UGH! No one wants a brown robe!”  My mom loved me so much that she ripped the robe apart and re-sewed it to the color I had originally envisioned. (I am not sure I would have been so generous.) It makes me cry now when I think of it. Because in every stitch of that robe two times over, my mom showed me how much she loved me.  Words didn’t come easy for my mom but in actions she showed me again and again how much I meant to her.  After I moved away from home, it was hard to throw that robe out even after it was tattered and worn; wrapped in it, I felt my mother’s arms around me and her comfort when I was sick.  I felt her presence.  It wasn’t about the robe.

Last week as I watched all the coverage about Black Friday, I was guided to post a picture on Facebook with this saying, “The most value present you give is your loving presence.  Those moments are priceless and forever held in your heart.” Because it isn’t the physical things like a robe that we cherish. It is the love and time that comes with them.   When I realized that, I let the robe go to goodwill and kept the memories that it represented for me.

This time of the year we can get caught up in the advertising and marketing world’s vision of the holidays that there is very little peace in our hearts as we rush to get everything done. What if this holiday season we made creating moments of connection, acceptance and love priorities? What if everywhere we went we looked for an acknowledged the little gifts of kindness that are given to us and vowed to be a better giver of our hearts in return? What if we remembered that gifts are symbols not the event itself?   What would shift?

I know not everyone had idyllic family situations growing up. Sometimes we try to compensate for what we didn’t have by giving more things.  Once our basic survival needs are met, the things never fill the wounds of the past.  Only the light of love does that.

This year, many are focusing on the Mayan Prophecies which said that the time around 12/21/12 was the end of an age.  Notice I didn’t say the end of the world.  I think the shift is already happening.  We see that the things do not fill the deep desire in our souls for compassion and connection.  The calls to simplify and take care of our earth are part of that shift.

So this holiday season, enjoy your shopping that allows you to give symbols of your love to those you care about.  Enjoy the gifts you receive that are those same symbols in return but don’t forget the greatest gift of all is your loving presence. All of us committing to a little more thoughtful consumption, walking more softly on the earth, being more kind to our neighbors is the only thing that will change the world.  Each us have a gift to bring from the heart.

Happy Holidays!
Carol

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