Today, the death toll in the LA County fires stands at 29 lives lost, with over 17000 structures destroyed or damaged. The structures include over 6000 homes, plus businesses, schools and churches. Personally, I know of at least 18 friends and acquaintances who lost their homes. I won’t begin to know the complexity of the emotions and the devastation they are experiencing. I don’t want to minimize someone’s grief, anger, disbelief and overwhelm with trite phrases. I won’t tell them or anyone how to deal with something that feels so huge. My words feel inadequate and all I can truly say is my heart is with you and look for opportunities to help where I can.
As someone who feels deeply what is going on in the world, I need to ground myself before I can be of any use to others. I always ask for wisdom and discernment of where I can help and where I must pray and hold space, but I must let go of my desire to fix it all. Because of course, as one person, I cannot fix this or many of the other things I see in the world that need fixing. In a recent meditation, my mind kept wandering though specific friend’s homes that I knew were gone. Listing just three as an example.
My friend Janell who is an amazing artist and photographer. She has taken many of my headshots and promotional shots for my website in her garden and backyard studio. The twinkle in my eyes and relaxed open energy in the photos is because of the energy Janell brought to the shoots. We laughed and had so much fun. Amazingly her studio and a lemon tree survived the fire, her home did not.
If you were fortunate enough to be invited to a party at Bridget’s house, she created those parties with love from the beautiful way she set the table, to the delicious vegan food cooked. The gatherings always brought together the most interesting and kind people. No surprise because Bridget is all heart. She is the author of the book Superhero of Love and founder of the Love Forward Talks. I thought of sitting in her house curated with all the treasures that made her home so special. We brainstormed ideas for the Love Forward talks, her podcast and my projects. I had house sat with her dogs and enjoyed the peace and beauty there. And now her house is gone. A statute of Kwan Yin and Buddha at her front door survived somehow–a sign of the deep spiritual connection and welcome that Bridget created in the home.
Ellen is the writing coach that helped me birth my first book. It was in her home that writers gathered and shared our tender drafts. So many beautiful creative projects birthed because of her Writer’s Workshops. Books and treasures gathered from her travels and work as an activist filled her home. Her home was the safe space for creatives. It was full of her love for animals and passion for social justice.
I know so many other friends and the greater communities all have their unique stories of home, love and joy found in those buildings. Lives lived, love shared, memories made, and that place of safety gone in that flash of fire. All are left with just ashes to sift through to find a few treasures to signify hope and the human capability to rise and begin again when it is time.
As I sat with the scope of these losses, the phrase “Energy cannot be created or destroyed” bubbled up from somewhere–a paraphrase of the physics law of conservation of energy. I saw and then felt all the love and creativity that was in those homes not being destroyed but being released to the world through that intense firestorm. Tears streamed down my face. It doesn’t minimize the tragedy or the loss but the idea that love isn’t lost, that creativity and joy aren’t lost. They are carried in the hearts of the people who created those beautiful homes but is released to find new places of expression. And it was also released through fire to the greater world.
Was it the energy that caused the food vendor to bring his cart to the Rose Bowl and give away hot dogs and then post a video on TikTok that inspired other food trucks to show up and people to spontaneously bring donations? Was it the energy that caused day laborers to volunteer to help clean up broken branches in areas needing clean up from the windstorm? Did it activate the love of Angelinos that I felt so big and strong? Maybe love just waits till an event to activate on a larger scale. Mr. Rogers said that his mother told him to look for the helpers in times of crisis or disaster and we in Los Angeles have witnessed so much love and courage in all who stepped up to help.
And yet when I repeat “the love in those homes was released and not destroyed.” I get truth bumps—those chills that make the hairs on my arms stand up and chills to run down my spine. What if out of this disaster we said, “the love isn’t lost, it was released” and we made it our mission to amplify love to cultivate more kindness, creativity, and appreciation?
This way of thinking helps me. In the loss that so many are suffering maybe it is up to us to allow the love that was released to inspire us. Now more than ever we need to hold love and let it be transformed not destroyed. The world is in dire need of us to apply love where it hurts and so many are hurting. There is a quote from the Talmud that I always come back to when I am overwhelmed of how much there is to do:
“Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.”
Does the idea of the love being released and not destroyed resonate with you? In what ways are you called to release love into the world?
If you would like to help people rebuild, I’ve included GoFundMe links below for the friends I mention above and several others who I know have active GoFundMe’s. Give if it feels right to you. Or just say a prayer for these people who are rebuilding their lives from the ground up.
Ellen Snortland & Ken Grossman
Sandra French. A single retired friend who lived in an apartment in Altadena.
Lori and Scott Webster Lori and Scott ran the Webster’s Gifts, later named Hoopla! in Altadena for many years. They hosted a book reading for my first book and I was honored to host Solstice ceremonies at their store.
Xen Buchanan I met Xen through my Andean Shamanic Studies. She is also a scientist who works on Space Mission projects.
Greg and Alma Apodaca I met Greg through working together on a TEDx program for Pasadena years ago. He is committed to building green communities of the future.
Terri Williams I worked with Terri for many years at a law firm.
I know I missed some folks, if friends have more links I’m happy to add them.
To Love, To Life! May we release the best of ourselves into the world.