The Love Wasn’t Destroyed, It Was Released

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Today, the death toll in the LA County fires stands at 29 lives lost, with over 17000 structures destroyed or damaged. The structures include over 6000 homes, plus businesses, schools and churches.  Personally, I know of at least 18 friends and acquaintances who lost their homes.  I won’t begin to know the complexity of the emotions and the devastation they are experiencing.  I don’t want to minimize someone’s grief, anger, disbelief and overwhelm with trite phrases.  I won’t tell them or anyone how to deal with something that feels so huge.  My words feel inadequate and all I can truly say is my heart is with you and look for opportunities to help where I can. As someone who feels deeply what is going on in the world, I need to ground myself before I can be of any use to others.  I always ask for wisdom and discernment of […]

New day

Soul Whispers Rather Than Resolutions

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No Resolutions This year there will be no long list of resolutions which imply that I am somehow “not there” yet, that I will probably forget by February. I let go of the demands of my taskmaster who pushes and worries about what is next and I soften into those softer heart and soul whispers.  I remember those.  The things  that I am most proud of including my move to Los Angeles to pursue acting, writing From Scared to Sacred, studying the Andean healing and shamanic traditions were urgings from that voice that were so strong that I said “Yes” and followed through.  My brain thought they were rather crazy, but I overrode that logical brain and did them anyway and I’m so grateful I did. The logical brain isn’t always my friend My mind thinks it can figure out how to do this thing called life as though life […]

family photographs on Ancestral altar with candle

Day of the Dead Reflections

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I was thinking of how often as a young girl I was told to be “nice,”  and I started to write about the messages I wish I had received instead of “nice.” This took me on a journey of ancestral awareness and healing, perfect on “All Souls Day” or “Día de los Muertos” (Day of the Dead). What I Wish Instead of “be nice,” I wish they had coached me in how to speak the hard truth with compassion. Instead of “Don’t be so dramatic,” I wish they had said, “You feel deeply, let me help you channel those feelings, learn from them, and express them productively with others and in art.” Instead of “Don’t think being smart makes you better than anyone else.”  I wish I had been told to celebrate my gifts and find the gifts in others to celebrate. Instead of saying “We are not athletic people” […]

back view of woman in the woods wearing witch costume

Reflections on the Witch

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I’m starting to see witch decorations all over my neighborhood.  Most are funny and non-threatening, but they got me thinking about the Witch archetype. The Witch, the wise old woman of the woods, the hag invited me to dance with her and write about her.  This is the dance we did on the page.   For centuries now, the old feminine soul, the wise woman has been suppressed.  She has been relegated to dried up, asexual and useless.  She has been made a caricature, ugly with a wart on her nose. The older wise woman, often called the witch or hag, was about community and service about birthing and dying and everything in between. She was connected to nature and mysticism.  The wise eccentric lady that you went to for answers, whose witches’ brew was often a cup of tea and some herbs for what ailed you. Somewhere along our development man […]

Green snake in tree

Channeling Snake

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I am channeling snake. I have been given this serpent archetype in rites and initiations with my Peruvian mentors. I spent time cultivating a relationship with snake in my early shamanic training, but a writing prompt made me realize it had been a long time since I spent time with serpent’s wisdom so I come to page to see what serpent has to share. I long to find that reconnection to the body that moves in conjunction with the pulse of life.  Fluid, sensuous. Shedding the past. I want to shed my old patterns like the snake. Wish it were as easy as it appears to the snake. If I could simply find a branch or a rock and rub my head against it and then just slip out of the thoughts and beliefs that hold me back. Scientists say snakes get this layer of lubrication between the old skin […]

Painiting of an eye/face with hearts

To my cornea donor

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To my Cornea donor, Dear Beautiful Soul. I know nothing about you. Whether you are man or woman, old or young. But this I know, the gift you left behind has changed me. Where I might have gone blind from the genetic disease I was diagnosed with; now, I have the gift of sight and opportunity and I intend to use that gift wisely. I promise to see the beauty in the world using the cells you donated. Together we will write and make art. I will not take your gift for granted. I will fully use it in my photography, art, writing, in appreciation of life and service to our world. Every night I will say a prayer of gratitude when I can drive rather than being reliant on others to drive because my night vision was so distorted by light refractions, I didn’t dare drive. Your gift gave […]

Bear eagle and jaguar wild animals

I have lost my wild

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Was working with the idea of wildness and had the feeling that I was no longer connected to the wild, untamed part of myself. I wrote down “i have lost my wild.” and the rest spilled onto the page. I lost my wild My passion My spontaneity My certainty of what calls to the animal within. Trying to remember my dreams for my life, the world Have I forgotten or outgrown them? I am in between now Have no energy to go on a grand adventure No desire to work to figure it out. No inspiration to journey looking for answers. Have the daily demands of my domesticated life killed my untamed? I can sit with a tree and be content I don’t feel the need to hunt for more Am I a bear mamma hibernating? Or a jaguar taking a nap in a tree? Am I an eagle resting […]

Woman in turquoise dress dancing in front of heart paiting

I danced with love (poem and painting by Carol Woodliff)

Carol WoodliffLeave a Comment on I danced with love (poem and painting by Carol Woodliff)

I danced with love, and it whispered to me,  “Love isn’t an outcome it is a process.” I danced with love. It said I will both hurt you and make you strong.  Love doesn’t make everything okay, but I will give you the courage to keep trying.  Give you the wisdom to know when you tried hard enough.  It is okay to need a timeout but not okay to check out completely. I danced with love, and it said sometimes hiding gives your heart time to recover.  Other times it is just a cop out. I danced with love, and she said, “Will you please look at the ways cut yourself with your words and expectations over and over again?” I danced with love and she said, “perfection isn’t required, compassion is.” I danced with love, and she took me to gentleness.  She walked me among the trees, showed me […]

Enchantment text on red background with hearts

Enchantment

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The lights shadows on my wall when I wake from a nap are like twelve chakra circles with a huge orb of light at the top.   There one moment and then gone as though a guide or angel just wanted me to know they were present. On my walk, a hummingbird hovers in my face reminding me to watch the stories I tell.  Source from sweetness she insists. Sitting outside meditating, I call upon my ancestors.  The mourning doves call in response saying hello from my dad and grandfather. A dragon fly circles me three times as though to say “we are here.” Hosting a fire ceremony in my backyard, stepping outside of time and then noticing the spiders dropping from trees and utility lines to surround us in our sacred circle. All just hanging with us and then pulling their web lines back in when we are done. A guest […]

Pachamama Mother Earth by Carol Woodliff

Communing with Pachamama (Mother Earth) A Prayer

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Sometimes in life we have to go to the Divine Mother.   Connecting to Pachamama (Mother Earth), the divine nurturing feminine always grounds me and helps me.   Sharing a prayer or incantation I wrote the other day after one of my grounding to her meditations. A Prayer to Pachamama I sit cross legged on the grass, feeling the sun on my face.  Closing my eyes.   Breathing deeply.   In my suburban backyard on a freshly mowed lawn, I extend a root from my vagina connecting to Pachamama,  the Earth Mother.  An energetic umbilical cord.  Anchor me, nourish me, ground me, feed the soul of me that needs to know that in my human form I am loved, I am her perfect child.  That I belong like the trees and the flowers.  That there is a home for me. It is a longing for connection that drives me outside to be…to slow down.  […]